Have you ever experienced this?
Things are going well with your guy. So well, as a matter of fact, that when
you start feeling insecure about something or want to share something you think
he'll perceive as “negative”, you keep it inside. You're afraid that by being
honest with him, you'll rock the boat.
Even worse, you end up feeling even
more scared and lonely because he doesn't seem to be sharing what he's thinking
with you, either. So you start pretending everything's okay, even when you're
just dying to ask him if something's wrong.
I know how confusing and frustrating
this can be, because I used to feel that way all the time. I would tip-toe
around the man in my life, thinking I had to just accept the times he would
become distant with me.
Myth:
Men Hate Talking About Their Feelings
Like you, I really believed that men
just don't like expressing their feelings. I thought they were just born that
way and there was nothing I could do about it.
Then I had a big light-bulb moment
when I learned that this is simply not true. What I figured out was that
believing this myth was preventing me from ever truly connecting with a man.
Truth:
Men Are Able To Open Up And Share - With The Right Woman
Here's the incredible secret I
learned that turned my love life around and brought me the closeness with a man
I had always hungered for.
A man doesn't like emotional
intensity or hidden tension. That kind of “drama” pushes a man away and makes
him want to clam up and withdraw.
In order to feel comfortable, a man
needs to know that he's safe with you. He'll feel safe when he sees that you
are in touch with your feelings and able to express them in a clear,
non-judgmental way.
Next time you're feeling
disconnected from your man, take these two steps in order to make a man feel
safe enough to open up with you:
Step
1: Stop Pretending
Pretending to feel confident or
stuffing down negative emotions in order to avoid conflict is absolutely the
wrong approach. It will make a man feel uneasy around you because he'll sense
that you're pretending. If he feels uneasy, he can't be honest with you about
what he's feeling.
This is why trying to look confident
when you aren't doesn't work. A man will sense you're pretending, and it will
push him away.
Instead, allow yourself to be vulnerable
and authentic. But how can you when you feel like a confused, angry pile of
insecurities? This way…
Step
2: Share Your Feelings Without Making Him Responsible
The key here is to share feelings,
not thoughts or actions. The next time you're tempted to tell a man what to do
or what you think, stop yourself.
Go with what's going on inside you.
Feel your heart beat, your stomach gurgle, and your chest tighten because
you're frustrated.
Feel yourself getting giddy or
anxious because you don't know what to say.
Feel the most concrete, real, simple
thing you can, and communicate that. Say, “I'm really sad right now,” rather
than “I think you spend too much time at work.”
“He'll feel safe when he sees that
you are in touch with your feelings and able to express them in a clear,
non-judgmental way.”
See the difference? You're simply
expressing a feeling rather than asking him to fix it or making him feel like
he caused you to feel awful.
In my eBook, I'll take you by the
hand and show you exactly how to frame your feelings so he won't feel like
you're making him responsible for them.
I'll show you how to say what you
feel - simply, directly, passionately, and with energy and conviction. You'll
be amazed at how expressing your feelings this way will inspire your man to
open up to you in ways you never imagined.
I'll also teach you incredibly
powerful relationship Tools -small shifts in you that make an enormous
difference in the closeness of your relationship.
And STILL he tells us that he's not
sure how he feels. Or he becomes distant and moody. Or he stops calling or
asking us out as often as he used to. Or he does something very hurtful, or
cheats on us, or tells us that he doesn't believe you're "meant" to be
together.
This happens because deep down, you
didn't trigger love in his HEART. You didn't connect on the deepest, most
intimate level ... his feelings.
How
to connect with a man's heart
First, here's what doesn't connect
with a man's heart: When you tell a man about what you think about the
relationship, or what you did that day, or what you think of the latest news
you've read or the gossip at work, he listens. He participates in the
conversation. But his feelings aren't triggered.
That's because you share everything
but who you are. You put up walls with him without even knowing you're doing
it. You decide not to tell him the sorrow you felt that morning or how a friend
made you happy by calling you and cheering you up.
Or, you actually don't even pay
attention to your own emotions. You're too busy with your to-do lists and
tasks.
But if you were to allow yourself to
FEEL what you're feeling, and then speak from those feelings, you would make
him feel safe and connected to you.
It seems like such a simple thing.
But for so many of us, it's such a counter-intuitive thing. It's difficult.
We're not used to being juicy, sexy, FEELING creatures. So many of us are
programmed to be doing, thinking, managing, worrying creatures. Unfortunately,
these qualities make a man feel nothing around you.
When you become a feminine, juicy,
sensual FEELING creature, you magnetize him simply by being what you were
always meant to be... an alluring woman who is soft on the outside, but strong
and resilient on the inside.
How do you do that? It's easy when
you know exactly how to use your feelings and emotions to communicate the
irresistible feminine quality that lures a man in. In my eBook, I teach you all
about how to shift your vibe by changing your words and body language and
attract a man's heart, not just his body and mind.
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